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Hello, lovers! Valentine’s Day has come and gone.
This holiday is a bit of a thinker for me. I hate to think of all the waste generated by millions of disposable cards sold. Most bouquets bought in the U.S. are imported (as of 2024, 92% of cut flowers originate from Latin America) — think of the workers exposed to toxic insecticides, of the hundreds of thousands of tons of C02 emissions generated by transporting something as fragile as flowers across thousands of miles. I think about the chocolate we consume, the environmental degradation and human rights violations created by cocoa production. And, the cultural obsession with romantic love itself, as the site where nuclear family recreates itself, isolating its members in that metaphorical bunker with enough supplies only for mom-dad-two-kids, ignoring friends and neighbors and seemingly unsightly outside community members…
At the same time, I love love. I love romance (shout out to my libra moon & mars for that one). I delight in any juicy detail friends give me about recent romantic exploits. The only movies that routinely make me cry feature romance. I think human connection of any sort is something so precious, so worth celebrating, and so I can't help but feel excited about V-Day. I, like many folks I suppose, go through waves of absolute disillusionment towards romance as a concept and its importance, followed by waves of pure delight and joy at the prospect of Cupid’s visit.
Thus, I find myself craving new models to think about romantic love, and love in all its forms. For a generation less willing to have kids, unable to afford houses, overworked and overstimulated, old models of romance feel, to me, like too tight a fit. I’m still parsing out new ways to think about romance, to make it make sense for our modern day. But for now, I turn to the ancients, specifically, the Greeks. According to Wikipedia, Greek has six words to describe love, compared to English’s one. For this month, I’ve doubled up again, assigning two signs per horoscope (sorry, just the way the math works out), each receiving a specific form of love to cultivate within your life.
Aries & Taurus
Eros: This, Wikipedia says, is sensual, passionate love. I think we often think of this as sex, as the fireworks erupting between new couples. The philosopher Plato, however, didn’t consider physical attraction as an absolutely necessary part of eros. To him, eros could be diverted towards philosophy, its potent energy used instead for the “transformation of consciousness.”
This February, I thus want you to consider your passion. I want you to think about the fire in your belly: what truly stokes its flames? (Don’t answer the question with something that sounds nice. Don’t say your passion is volunteering if the only thing that deeply excites that inner self is your most recent crush.) Then think about, how do you sustain your passions? How are other people involved, if at all? Does your personal passion overflow to warm others?
Gemini & Cancer
Philautia: This is self-love. It worries me how much capitalism has hijacked this idea, that self-love means exorbitant purchases, or isolating yourself from others at the slightest hint of conflict. I don’t believe in pouring yourself completely empty — Aristotle himself thought self-love a prerequisite to truly loving others — but the idea of shutting away and perpetually self-soothing seems to me a
So this February, I’d call on you to reconsider the ways you take care of yourself. What is smallest, simplest thing you can do to show yourself love? Commit to completing this thing daily, the way you’d pour morning coffee for a lover, or send a friend a once-a-day check-in text. Show yourself love humbly, quietly, with calm yet never-ceasing devotion.
Leo & Virgo
Agape: defined (by Wikipedia) as the highest form of love, as that of God for humans, and of humans for God. (I know mere mention of God alone will make some of you cringe, so feel free to substitute that word for something suitable to you). The concept, for us mere mortals, denotes the unconditional sort of love we practice towards people who are absolutely unable to repay us.
So, in February, think about the people you hold invisible grudges towards: an annoying co-worker, a friend with a bad habit, a lover with some deeply human flaw. What if you forgave them these small grievances? (Note: I’m not talking here about abuse, in either its systemic or personal forms. I’m talking about annoyances, the friction that occurs whenever two humans spend ample time together). Think of the weight lifted when you accept some unchangeable but grating thing about someone else. Perhaps it’ll give you the push to forgive some small thing about yourself. Isn’t there something holy about that?
Libra & Scorpio
Storge: Wikipedia lists this as synonymous to familial love, something a parent might feel towards a child. In your interpretation for this month, familial love need not necessarily refer to blood ties; chosen family too represents storge. So, this month, consider the people you think of as family, and consider what (if anything) makes those relationships different from the ones you decide are only friends, only lovers? How do you nurture this particular type of connection?
Sagittarius & Capricorn
Philia: Quoting Wikipedia again, this is "affectionate regard, friendship" between “equals.” This is the love one feels towards friends, family, community. Aristotle divided this type of love further into three subtypes friendships of utility (created without much regard for the other person, something like a business transaction), friendships of pleasure (between people who enjoy shared activities), and friendships of the good (friends who enjoy each other’s personal characteristics and characters).
This February, think about all three of these types of relationships. How do they manifest in your life, these non-erotic relationships between you and peers, or you and others considered your equals? How do you relate to your co-workers or classmates, people you have no structural power over and no ulterior romantic motives with? Do you value these types of connections? If so, how do you invest in them?
Aquarius & Pisces
Xenia: This is the ancient Greeks’ concept of hospitality. Wikipedia calls it “an institutionalized relationship rooted in generosity, gift exchange, and reciprocity.” It also says that, “Historically, hospitality towards foreigners and guests was understood as a moral obligation, as well as a political imperative.”
Think about where you live and work: is it a site of hospitality? Who is allowed to cross the threshold into your life, and how are they treated once they’re there? So many of us have made impenetrable the barriers into our homes. If that’s you, why’s that the case? What makes you a reluctant host, and your dwelling inhospitable to guests?
Horoscope by Mariya Kurbatova
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