"The First Time I Saw Girls Afraid"

by Erin Pinkham

The First Time I Saw Girls Afraid

You Call it Madness, But I Call It Love, One Tree Hill, Season 4, Episode 16,2007

Mama won’t let me watch One Tree Hill

anymore. Ever since that one night

we saw Peyton and Brooke tied up

in the basement of Peyton’s childhood

home and they were screaming

through a cloth gag tied to the back

of their heads. And yeah it scared me.

The way no one was coming to help them.

The way they knew no one was coming

to help them — crying, looking at each other.

The way he walked down the stairs,

held a knife to Brooke’s throat.

The way they had to break themselves

free, claw at him, push him down the stairs,

kick his body over and over.

I didn’t even know people wanted girls

afraid — tied up and shivering.

I didn’t even know people wanted to hurt

other people.

Erin Pinkham (she/they) is a queer poet from North Texas. Their work focuses on girlhood, and queer issues inspired by life in the south on her family's tomato farm. They are a recent Poetry MFA graduate of the University of Arkansas Program in Creative Writing and Translation. They will often be heard gushing about anime, spellcasting, her dog Willie, pink velvet fabric, and the Korean boyband, BTS. 

"The First Time I Saw Girls Afraid" by Erin Pinkham is also available to stream and share on dogyard mag's podcast "The Bark at dogyard" on YouTube and Spotify <3